I Need Help

Oh what a life I’ve had! While some manage to effortlessly sail through theirs, achieving higher and higher levels of comfort and success, I’ve struggled, often falling into an abyss of despair and financial insolvency. There were times when I considered suicide, but something always stopped me from taking that final step. Hope of a better future one day? Because I did have hope, however small.

Twenty-six years ago, I was forty and esconced in a rundown trailer court in River Falls, WI, living on food stamps and $500 a month from SSI. You could just about manage then on that little if you weren’t fussy about where you lived. I suffered from crippling agoraphobia and IBS, both maladies I acquired when I was in my teens that stuck with me into my adult life.

With the obstinacy and determination only the relatively young have, I not only persevered, but I prospered enough to better my situation. A friend started an ISP and offered me a job. I was terrified, but I took it, knowing I’d been given an amazing opportunity. Self-confidence and self-esteem grew. After a few years, I was living in a better place and even had a car.

I went from nothing to something, and that wasn’t the first time. But I was younger then, and I still bounced. My enthusiasm for survival has diminished, along with my energy levels, and I find myself facing yet another round of “how much can Fen take before breaking?”

Why should you care? I don’t expect you to, but this community has helped others in need, so why not me? 

I’ve been freelance editing the last six or seven years, first with Silver, then Dreamspinner, and most recently, with Murphy Hopkins at Indie Solutions. I’ve gotten pretty darn good at it, and I like it.

But editing work has dried up, and at my age, in this economy, finding a job in the private sector is next to impossible. Will I look? Sure. It’s what you do when there isn’t enough money coming in to pay rent and bills and buy food. I’ve been looking, but I’ve had no responses so far.

I need help, but I’m not asking for a handout. What I want is work.

I know a lot of authors, and some of you are self-publishing. All I ask is that you consider me when you need editing done. Get the details here. If you hear of a publisher in need of an editor, let me know.

This is hard for me. I don’t like asking for help. If I have to, I’ll go back on food stamps and try to get financial help from the state, but I’d rather earn my money, ya know?

Feel free to reblog or otherwise share this post. Thanks for reading.

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About Fenraven

Fenraven lives in central Florida, which reminds him of Wisconsin and Minnesota. Find him on Twitter and Facebook by searching on 'fenraven'.
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