Since I purposefully stopped writing, I’ve been casting around for other things to do. Surprisingly, I was at loose ends for a while. I didn’t know what to do with myself if I wasn’t hunched over the laptop. The days stretched ahead of me with nothing to fill them. It was weird.
Who was I if I wasn’t writing?
Then I got editing jobs. Problem solved. I spent a lot of hours each day working. But when my brain had had enough, I needed other distractions.
Wednesday, I watched the first thirteen episodes of Big Bang Theory, S8; Sunday, I watched the remaining twelve episodes. Thursday, I went over to R’s to catch the Heroes Reborn premiere. It did not impress, and I doubt I’ll watch it again (boo-hiss to Tim Kring, who was in charge once again and somehow blew it).
I’ve been reading more than usual. I’ve taken naps. I’ve tried installing old computer games and tossed the ones that didn’t work–don’t you hate when that happens?
Today I discovered I could play an old favorite online: Mah Jong Quest. I bought and paid for it fifteen years ago, but it won’t play on Windows these days, even though Microsoft invented the damn game. I have to put up with ads every six or seven minutes, but I deal with that by killing the sound. I’m embarrassed to tell you how many hours I played that sucker yesterday. I only quit when I hit a layout that stopped me cold. This freaked me out a little; I’ve previously played through the game at least twice, start to finish, only had problems with one screen, and this wasn’t it. I wonder what’s happened to my brain in the intervening years.
And I’ve ignored story ideas. Lots of them. My brain insists I want to write, but a part of me is resisting. I’m not sure which side I’m rooting for at the moment, and until I know, I’m refusing to open the word processor.
Are you still a writer even if you’re not writing?