And He Learned

This is how it happens. This is how you grow a sexist society, and we have done an exemplary job of it.

Rethink the Rant

When he noticed the naked little girl at the beach didn’t look quite like he did and asked why, they answered his questions in simple phrases painted in black and white, pink and blue, and tradition. And he learned that boys and girls were different.

When one of the neighbor kids painted his nails, they got angry. That wasn’t something boys did. And he learned that there were different rules for boys and girls, and that breaking those made people upset.

When he was handed down a pink bike from his cousin, they replaced it with a blue one, because they didn’t want him to be mocked for having a “girly” bike. And he learned that being girly was something to be mocked.

When he cried, they told him to be a man. And he learned that crying, and being not a man, was something less.

When he was being picked…

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About Fenraven

Fenraven happily lives in south Florida, where it is really hot most of the year. Find him on Twitter, Google +, and Facebook by searching on 'fenraven'.
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10 Responses to And He Learned

  1. Brandilyn says:

    Such an important post. She nailed it.

  2. She certainly did Brandilyn!!

  3. Elin Gregory says:

    Am amazing post. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Jaycee Edward says:

    It was 15 years ago, but I remember it like yesterday. When my granddaughter was first born and someone mentioned “dating”, the look in my son-in-law’s face was pure terror.

    • Women/girls really get the short end of the stick, and not just here, but all over the world. Men should worship them as the givers of life. Instead, they treat them like shit. It’s horrifying.

  5. valjo44 says:

    Excellent blog! Particularly the end and the “it’s a girl” comment. I can imagine at this point every man looks at his newborn daughter and thinks of everything he ever said, did or thought that dehumanized girls/women as he grew up and now understands exactly what he did wrong and how horrifying it is to imagine his daughter being subjected to the same treatment. Even something that appears innocent like telling a girl she can only be the pink power ranger cuz she’s a “girl” and all the other rangers are boys. (My son did that when he asked me to play power rangers with him and he told me I had to be the pink power ranger, because I’m a girl, however that comment did open up an interesting discussion about males, females, the color pink and how equality worked.)

  6. valjo44 says:

    I had a moment similar to the one when a man learns he has a daughter, in that it made me stop and think and realize I was being very passive with a relative who was always sending me jokes about men….beyond the typical “men never ask for directions” type. I found them offensive so I would just delete them and not respond until one day it occurred to me that I was raising a man and when those jokes were put into the context of my son it was the lightbulb moment when I realized I was encouraging “male bashing” by keeping quiet. So I explained to my aunt that I would appreciate her not sending me those types of jokes as I had a son and found it distasteful. She stopped but the emotional fallout was ridiculous and over the top….but I felt better about myself.

    • If everyone started speaking up about this, change might actually begin.

      I’m as guilty as anyone. I’ve posted sexist jokes, too. But I’m going to stop now. And if you catch me at it, please say something.

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