The Lock That Wouldn’t Turn

I went over to R’s last night; he invited me to watch a movie I hadn’t seen in years: To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar. It’s full of great dialog and wonderful lines:

Noxeema Jackson: When a straight man puts on a dress and gets his sexual kicks, he is a transvestite. When a man is a woman trapped in a man’s body and has a little operation he is a Transsexual.

Miss Chi-Chi Rodriguez: I know that.

Noxeema Jackson: When a gay man has way too much fashion sense for one gender he is a drag queen.

Vida Boheme: Thank you.

Noxeema Jackson: And when a tired little Latin boy puts on a dress, he is simply a boy in a dress.

Prior to leaving, I locked the french doors that lead to the lanai. When I returned, I discovered the lock wouldn’t work. I’m pretty sure it got stuck in the hole. I wrestled with it for an hour, getting more and more frustrated. Because of course that couldn’t be the only thing wrong with it. Additionally, one of the screws was stripped and couldn’t be removed, meaning I couldn’t get into the mechanism to deal with the damn lock.

I trotted around to the back door, slid the key in… and guess what? It wouldn’t turn the lock! Stymied on all sides, I went to bed frustrated and annoyed. This morning, the lock remains immovable and I can’t get into that room. R is coming over later to assist.

This has never happened to me, and I’ve dealt with a lot of locks in my time. If it had been a deadbolt, I would have jimmied it the way Jon considers doing in Wolf Bound; I did the research. I have the knowledge. But it’s a simple “turn and lock” thing. Same thing with the back door. Don’t know how to deal with that type of lock. Most people use a credit card to slide the lock open, but they’re making them better these days, and I don’t think it’s possible.

I hope we don’t have to break the lock, but I suspect that’s what’s next. 😦

Here’s a pic of Suki in the lanai/Florida room before I added furniture. Suki in Lanai sans furniture 5.6.14 smYou’ll notice her face is comprised of three black holes: her eyes and nose. This is what happens when something is backlit. Even my painting with light trick won’t work here; you can’t bring back what the camera never saw.

But here’s a better pic of her which turned out better. I did use the trick on this photo, mostly to bring out her eyes and add a few highlights.Suki in Lanai 5.6.14 smAside from the bad lock, it’s another fine day in south Florida. Sun is shining, sky is blue.

Yesterday, I finished the first draft of Wolf Bound and started the first of many edits before I pass it along to my betas today or tomorrow. Unless I discover major work needs to be done, it will be released before the end of the month.



About Fenraven

Fenraven happily lives in south Florida, where it is really hot most of the year. Find him on Twitter, Google +, and Facebook by searching on 'fenraven'.
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31 Responses to The Lock That Wouldn’t Turn

  1. Brandilyn says:

    you have a landlord… just saying…

    Oh and I haven’t seen that movie since college, but I need to.

    • I do have a landlord. Who is in Hawaii with his wife for two months. 😉 However, I know if I told him about this, he’d leap to correct it. I’m going to wait and see if R can solve the problem before I alert him. No point in disturbing him if things are properly resolved. Or even improperly. I’d like to get the lockset off if nothing else. Replacing it can wait a while. It’s a really safe neighborhood.

      • Brandilyn says:

        Yeah, let them have their vacation.

        I love tinkering with stuff like that, but not at night. Sounds like a good project for today, though.

        • I like tinkering with stuff too, but as you say, not at night when it’s late and you’re tired. It’s nice to have the space open and available again. How quickly I’ve become accustomed to it!

      • Brandilyn says:

        so when I first saw this post in my feed… my next thought was “… and so are the days of our lives…” No idea WHY… I don’t watch soaps and that kinds mixes two different ones, maybe? I think I need more sleep.

  2. Yvonne says:

    And when the sun is shining and the sky is blue a small matter like a lock that won’t lock is a mere annoyance and no big deal. Right? I would like to sit in that sunny lanai of yours, I had to resort to our wood-burning stove again today to get warm.
    Wolf Bound is another step closer to being finished, must feel good.

    • It was driving me nuts last night, and I’ll admit I’m gritting my teeth over it this morning. I love that lanai. I open all the windows at night to cool the place down. Last night, no cooling. In the morning, I shut them and lower the blinds to keep the heat out. Can’t do that, so that space will turn into the Sahara desert, cooking the plants out there. Which I can’t get at to water!

      So yes, this problem has to be resolved, and quickly. But a part of me is maintaining a Zen calm as I await help.

  3. Loooove that movie. I watched it a few months ago and I think I enjoy it more every time I see it.

    Good luck with the lock! That’s frustrating. The lanai is lovely though!

    • The deadbolt broke off the metal thing holding it to the mechanism. That’s why it was stuck and wouldn’t open. We ended up forcing the plate off the door, then removing the rest in pieces before jimmying the deadbolt loose with two screwdrivers. Jesus. But the doors are intact and the locks are easily replaced, so all’s well that ends. 😉

  4. kmac64 says:

    Suki looks absolutely adorable lying there. On the close up, she looks like she knows the routine, lol. 🙂 She is a little rock star!! Can’t help you with the lock, although, I use to take them apart just to see if I could put them back. Job requirement 🙂 You will get it, I have no doubt. I think we can finally say, spring has sprung! It is, already, hotter than blue blazes here, but not complaining, never, lol. Have a good day!!!!

    • The day will be fine indeed. 🙂 Wonderful wind blowing right now, and with the doors finally open, there’s good cross-breeze. Funny, when I lived up north, I got tired of the spring breezes. Down here, I appreciate them every day. It also helps that I chopped off the long hair. Heh.

  5. suze294 says:

    Lovely space, especially now you are back in it! A great basking spot – how is Suki adjusting to the warm?

    • Suki loves the heat almost as much as me. It’s harder on her because of the fur, so I’m careful to keep her inside most of the day. We take our walks, but they’re short until night falls. Last night, she delighted in running around in R’s pool area. She hasn’t fallen in yet, but we watch her closely. She’s always been a social dog. Loves to go visiting.

  6. Allison says:

    Of course I love the shots of Suki, her cute knows no bounds! 😀 The lanai looks beautiful, so welcoming even without furniture.

    Sorry to hear about the lock, how frustrating. Glad to hear that you got it fixed.

    I haven’t seen To Wong Fu… in years but I loved it. I’ll have to look for it when I get home.

    • There still isn’t much out there. The neighbors have theirs fixed up very nice. In mine is only a baker’s rack for plants, a coffee table against one wall, and a rocker and small table in the opposite corner. Decorating will take time and money, and there’s no hurry.

      • Allison says:

        That’s part of the fun of a new place! I look forward to seeing what you do with it over time, I’m sure to be impressed.

        • Plants are a great way to transform a space, and in Florida, I rarely have to worry about freezing. In fact, on those few days when temps drop, I can turn on a space heater and keep them toasty warm until the temp rises again.

          How wonderful is that?

      • Allison says:

        I am so looking forward to being able to have plants again! I hope to explore the options out here. The options are stunning.

      • Allison says:

        Sorry, I just saw the question you asked. The only window that faces south is the big window on the front of the house but there is a couch under the window so Beau and Bella can look out the window. Yes, they are spoiled. 🙂 The space that is left isn’t big enough to fit plants and Beau would probably knock them over if I forced it. If I put them in the bedrooms that faced south I’d never see them because I don’t go in those rooms every day.

  7. valjo44 says:

    What a fabulous space! I would live out there, lots of plants, maybe some kind of water feature, a really comfy bed-like object :).

    Suki looks so tiny, she makes the room look huge. Her face is so cute. (Well, all of her is cute, but the way her head is angled shows those big eyes and ears.)

    • Eventually, there will be loads of plants out there. I already have two, and R is bringing three more today. I only wish I could have brought the ones down from MN; they were huge and beautiful. They would have really made the space sing. 🙂

  8. Karen H says:

    The Florida Room looks great and I bet it’s even better now that you have furniture and can get back into it and Suki well, she’s just absolutely adorable.

    • Everyone loves her. And she loves everyone, which is why I have to watch her so sharply. Someone would offer her kibble, and she’s get right in the car with them! 😉

      • Karen H says:

        That’s what I use to think about our little guy and I’ve noticed he loves everyone until they try to pick him up then he runs like crazy for me or hubby and tries to climb us like we’re trees. I think Suki might surprise you if she really thought someone was trying to take her from you 😉

  9. Patricia says:

    We have vegetables in Earth Boxes on our lanai! And all week I have been thinking about The Lady Chablis, for some reason, the beauty from “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.” Must see “To Wong Fu…” , only glimpsed it, seems like a tender hearted movie.

  10. diannegray says:

    Best of luck with the lock, Theo.

    Suki is adorable! 😀

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