Heck of a weekend.
Saturday, I worked. The weather was beautiful, but I was inside on a computer, reconciling bank accounts, from 10:30 a.m. until 9:30 p.m.. My boss and I broke for an hour at dinner, but otherwise, it was nose to the grindstone (which needn’t have happened, but he put some things off for months, and this was required catch-up). Suki was bored. My camera didn’t get used even once.
Sunday, I’d planned to write all day, but that’s not how it worked out. I started to write something about the place where Sky grew up, and then couldn’t remember if I’d mentioned it previously. So I did a “find” on the name of the possible city and came up with nothing. Maybe I’d described it as a small town? Searched on that with similar results. I could have sworn–!
Heaving a sigh (yes, I do that occasionally; it’s not just a figure of speech), I decided I’d gone too long without taking notes, so I opened Evernote (great free program for those of us who have no time to learn something like Liquid Binder, which I own and would probably love and fully intend to figure out one day) and started jotting down eye and hair color, place of birth, notable characteristics, etc.
Then I started highlighting what happens in every chapter, because if I say this thing in chapter three, I’d better not negate it in chapter eleven (I found I had done exactly that, which is why I decided chapter notes were necessary).
I wrote about 800 words yesterday. I started at ten a.m., took a break or two, got as far as the mentioned chapter eleven, and quit for the day around six, brain fried.
Anyone who thinks writing is easy hasn’t done it over the long haul. I remember a day not too long ago–early this year, as it happens–when I woke up one Friday, my mind on fire, and wrote 4500 words by the time I went to bed. It flowed like a river and it was all good.
But mostly, it’s days like yesterday, when I begin with a firm commitment and end up writing 800 measly words.
Already, I’m hoping next weekend is better. Already I’m planning another marathon writing episode, and hoping I’ll hit the zone and write write write until my head is empty and the voices are quiet.
Adding insult to injury, I woke up this morning from a nasty little dream wherein someone representing a teacher asked me and another student to write a little something about something (it was a dream; who remembers?). The teacher praised the other student’s output, quoting wonderful turns of phrase and added bits of detail, and then he turned his sights on me. Reading aloud a sentence I’d been particularly proud of, he said, “This is ponderous,” in a tone of voice that left me shattered, knowing I’d failed.
If you think writing is easy, you’re either a drunk, self-deluded, or truly gifted, because for me, it’s often like pulling teeth, getting those words down on virtual paper.
And oh look! It’s Monday again, and I must go to work to earn my daily bread. Have a good one, y’all. *trudges off to shower and dress and face another long week*