Usually, I post something on Wednesday, but I totally forgot this morning, and last night, I was wrapping up an edit.
My apologies to those of you who expect something new three times a week, and dropped by this morning to get it only to find nothing. 😦
So… let’s talk about toilet paper. (How’s that for an interesting segue?)
What can one say about it? Europeans think Americans have dirty asses because they use toilet paper to wipe their butts. “All you’re doing is smearing shit around. How is that CLEAN?”
You ask how I know they think that. Well, a bunch of us got into a conversation about this very subject online one night and this came out of it.
Europeans have bidets. Americans think such things, on the rare occasions they run into them, are low drinking fountains.
Where would Americans put a bidet anyway? Space is at such a premium in most homes (whether they are houses or apartments), there is no room for a bidet.
I, for one, want one. They are more hygienic; who wouldn’t enjoy a thorough but quick cleaning after dropping a load in the toilet? I mean, you never know who you’re gonna meet, right? Or, if you are coupled up like me and AJ, when the next impromptu sex will take place.
Toilet paper just doesn’t do the job. And while we’re on the subject, I was house-sitting not long ago, and not only didn’t they have a bidet, but the toilet paper they used was scored in horizontal lines.
I cannot tell you how often that damn paper ripped while I was applying it to my sensitive nether regions. Shitty fingers anyone?
My guess is, whoever makes that paper never tested it on actual human asses. The third time it happened, I literally screamed out loud.
There’s your Wednesday post, a little late but still, I hope, entertaining. 🙂