50 Shades Explodes

I think most people are aware by now that someone turned a Twilight fanfic into a pro-release and it went viral. So to speak. “50 Shades of Gray” is rumored to be badly written, and reviews seem to support that, so how did this happen? What nerve did this author strike that made her title a bestseller?

Wait, it gets worse. Today, I found out that Hollywood came knocking on her door with a big-ass check for $5M. Read it here.

Chris Pine as the possible star of this film? Jeez. I can’t even imagine it. In fact, I can’t imagine that this story got so big it’s gonna be turned into a movie starring Captain Kirk. Yes, I can see him in the film. I might even lay down money to see it in the theater.Β 

But before that happens, there is still the ebook to consider. Here’s a review a friend sent me:

By GadgetChick
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey (Paperback)
The success of this book baffles me. While I am not an avid reader of “erotic fiction,” I have read some, and everything that I’ve read is so much better than this, it’s ridiculous. If you’re contemplating buying this book, here’s what the book is, if this helps you make a decision:

– Take Stephenie Meyer’s ham-handed, awkward writing and turn down the “quality” dial about four – maybe five – notches. Romance novel readers can look at it this way – the writing is about two levels worse than the worst Harlequin romance you’ve ever read.

– Add in a Stephenie Meyer-esque heroine, a woman so boring it is hard to imagine how anyone – much less an extremely rich, sophisticated, smart, experienced dominant – would ever see anything the least bit interesting in her. Just like Bella in the Twilight novels, Anastasia is mostly just a cipher, a complete blank that women can project themselves onto. She’s not that smart, she’s not that funny, she has very pedestrian beliefs, goals and ambitions, she has standard mommy-didn’t-love-me and divorced-parent issues. Actually, Anastasia is Bella, just this time around she gets into sex.

– Add in some clumsily-written sex scenes and a whole lot of mostly inaccurate, overblown information about BDSM. Then couch the sex scenes in a whole lot of very boring dialogue and “plot” (mainly consisting of the main characters’ emails to each other – is there anything more boring than reading someone else’s emails?) so there can at least be a pretense that there is a story here, and that the book isn’t just bad BDSM erotica.

Part of my problem with the book is the poor quality, including everything I’ve mentioned above. My other main problem with the book is just how unbelievable the story and the characters are. There are very few experienced doms out there who get involved with uninitiated subs this way. There are very few doms with Christian’s resources that have to resort to uninitiated partners, no matter how “fascinating” (not) they are – they can pretty much purchase as much experience and expertise in their partners as they need, and generally, they need and want a lot of experience – bringing someone up to their level takes time and effort and becomes boring pretty quickly. I would actually caution women who might be interested in this kind of arrangement with a dominant, now that they’ve read the book – experienced doms who look for uninitiated subs do not usually have good intentions of bringing someone along into the lifestyle slowly, and buying them cars and computers. It’s something people should steer clear of, not seek out.

I don’t know. I guess if this gets some housewives hot and bothered and spices up their bedroom life, there’s no harm in it. Husbands everywhere will probably get some awesome experiences out of this whole temporary BDSM-lite erotic-fiction craze. But, the really tragic thing is that there are authors of erotic fiction out there, who have been working for a long time, who actually have – you know – WRITING SKILLS – who will never be as rich or as famous as the woman who wrote this very lackluster book that is getting all kinds of unwarranted attention, for no good reason.

If readers of this are really interested in this whole BDSM erotic-fiction thing, without the thinly-veiled, poorly-constructed romance subtext, I highly recommend the Sleeping Beauty series that Anne Rice wrote under a pen name, A.N. Roquelaure. The first one, The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, is available for Kindle here on Amazon. It’s much better written, overall, than this book, and also much more creative (and thus, much hotter).

She didn’t like it. She doesn’t understand why it’s popular. I haven’t read it and after reading this, don’t plan to. So how did something so poorly written capture the public’s attention? How did this make it all the way to Hollywood? Why are books that are better written ignored and overlooked?

I’d really like to know.

Am I happy for the author? Yeah, I am. If it had happened to me, I’d be thrilled, so how can I not be happy for her? But that happiness is tempered by my feeling that other, better writers are more deserving of the things that seemingly fell into her lap.

There’s no accounting for taste, as people prove over and over again. *sigh*


About Fenraven

Fenraven happily lives in south Florida, where it is really hot most of the year. Find him on Twitter, Google +, and Facebook by searching on 'fenraven'.
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7 Responses to 50 Shades Explodes

  1. Chris says:

    A friend of a friend is doing chapter by chapter reviews of the book – and she’s a funny writer. Promises to be very amusing.


  2. WTF?! Don’t ask me! It’s still hard to believe that Twilight was so successful when it’s… You know. The human mind and taste is an effing mystery sometimes. O.o’

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