I haven’t spoken to JJ in, what, a week? It seems longer. I wonder how he’s doing. I wonder if he hooked up with that guy he took home a while back or found someone new. I wonder if he misses me, because I miss him. But I have someone to think about, too. After all these years, AJ and I are single at the same time and he’s putting moves on me.
I visited him yesterday before he had to go to work, and he told me to stay after he left. I even helped myself to cold pizza from the fridge while I continued writing on my laptop. His dog, Princess, didn’t seem to mind, especially after I threw him the crust. Suki got her ten percent, too.
AJ’s place is much nicer than mine. Quieter, too, and the view off the balcony is great; meadow and trees and a walking trail. I cracked the door and listened to the birds singing.
I know where the story is going now. I just have to write it. But I keep getting distracted by what AJ did, which was give me one hell of a kiss while wearing nothing more than a towel. It’s been a while, ya know? If he hadn’t been heading off to work, I might have followed that up by dragging him to bed.
That makes me feel one part guilty, one part horny, and while those sides are fighting it out, I can’t do a thing. Because the truth is, I don’t want another casual relationship, and I certainly wouldn’t use AJ that way.
If we do this thing, it has to be treated with respect and care and it’ll take as long as it takes. Maybe one of us will decide somewhere along the way that’s it not worth it, that it doesn’t feel right, that we need to remain friends and not move into something romantic.
How many times have I heard you should first be friends with your lover? AJ and I are certainly friends, but whether or not we can successfully become lovers is still unclear.