I booked the movers this afternoon. Winter makes everything more difficult; I can only hope the weather pattern remains mild for another seven to ten days, otherwise it’s gonna cost me more and with no job waiting for me, I need to watch every penny.
I’m leaving the bed behind for JJ. I’ll buy a new one when I get to St Paul. In the meantime, I have an old futon I can sleep on for a couple of nights if need be.
I’m excited. I’m scared. I’m alternately confident this will work out and freaked it won’t. In other words, pretty typical reactions from someone crossing the country.
I’ve done this before. I was younger then, and had no idea how bad things could get. Yes, they got bad. I hit Florida one month before 9/11 happened and the entire world came to a halt. I couldn’t find a job, I ran out of money and had to borrow from Mom, but guess what? I survived. Overall, it was a great experience. I learned a lot about myself and those I loved. I learned I could do things I’d never thought possible. I found out who really cared about me and who didn’t. When faced with daunting things, I discovered I step up and deal with it. I don’t sit on the couch and wait for something to happen. I make them happen! I still remember cold-calling on businesses in Clearwater one day, asking if they had any openings. Guess what? I got a job that day. It wasn’t a great job and it didn’t last, but it kept me going until my next position, which did last.
Whatever happens, I’ll survive this, too. I’ll have relatives close by, for one thing. AJ will be only a few weeks behind me, for another. And Spring is coming! I’ll have all new areas to learn and explore.
The one crap thing about all this is JJ not coming with me. We’ve talked about it again and again and nothing every changes. He’s unhappy, I’m unhappy, but we can’t change a thing about it. He’s stuck in Sunnyside for now and I have to move.
My new mantra: It will be okay.