JJ and I went out to dinner. It had been a while and we both enjoyed it, lingering over a carafe of wine and playing footsie under the table.
“You’re happier tonight,” he observed, topping off our glasses with the last of the wine.
“Yup.” I grinned at him and held up the glass. “Toast. To…us.”
A fleeting sadness crossed his face and then was gone. He clinked his glass with mine and we both drank, staring into each other’s eyes.
I don’t talk about it much, but I love him. He makes me feel safe, cherished, not alone, and isn’t that what it’s all about?
“I wish I didn’t have to go.” I said it quietly, but he heard me.
His leg brushed mine as he leaned forward. “Me, too, but we’ll be together again soon enough. In the spring, after school ends, I’ll come to you then.”
I nodded. “Spring. That’s not so far away.”
But it was. Months and months. How the hell would we manage that? I didn’t know if I could sleep alone anymore. He made our bed a welcoming place. What the hell would I do without him? How would I get through winter without his warmth?
For a moment, the facade faltered, fell away, and we saw each other naked, saw the despair in one another’s eyes, the doubt and fear over our coming separation.
He looked away first. “Movie when we get home?”
I smiled. “I think I’d like to write.”
He met my eyes again at that. “I’m glad.” He drained his glass. “Ready then? Suki’s waiting and I have a hankering to see you with the laptop, typing away.”
We returned home in record time.