Daylight savings time screws up my internal clock. The last two mornings, I’ve woken up far too early and can’t go back to sleep, so I lay there in the dark, listening to my mind run the hamster wheel.
I think about my mom and wonder how she’s doing. I think about the move and anxiety floods through me, almost making me gasp. I think about being alone in a city I don’t know and a black hole opens inside me.
I think about being without JJ and almost cry.
I don’t want to do this. I don’t want my life to change. I like where I am, here with him and my friends and my favorite restaurants and bars.
But I have to. I have to.
Thinking in the dark, in the small quiet hours of morning, is always a mistake. I know this, but the mind has a will of its own.
I hate daylight savings.