I was half asleep when JJ said, “I don’t want you posting online about our lives anymore.”
I heard enough of that to fully wake. “What? Say that again.”
He repeated it, and then added, “It makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want people knowing that much about me.”
I drew back enough so I could look at him. “Babe, ‘JJ’ isn’t your name or even your initials. I’ve never talked about the school where you work or related any of the often hilarious stories you tell me about your kids, however much I’ve been tempted.”
“I know, and I appreciate that, but you’re pretty free with the rest of my life. The gray hair?” He raised an eyebrow. “How about when we went camping? I mean, everything about me is fair game and I don’t like it. And what would your mom think of you telling everyone about her brain tumor?”
“Uh…the whole point of a blog is to reveal yourself to others. Otherwise, why bother?”
“Then reveal you, not me.” He fussily pulled the blankets higher. “I don’t want any part of it.”
“Babe, you’re part of my life. I can’t leave you out.” I rolled onto my back, upset with his declaration. “You never used to read my stuff, much less AJ’s. When did that change?”
“I got curious. I wanted to see what you were posting.” He moved onto his side, staring down at me. “AJ was an afterthought. I found the link on your blog and clicked. I was curious about how things were going with Connor.”
“What, so yesterday was the first time you’ve been on either blog?”
“No. I started reading last week. AJ’s mysterious post yesterday? It’s not the first time he’s talked about you.”
“I know. I told you, I’m aware.” I sat up, as did he. “The timing between him and me was never right.”
“So you said in an early entry.”
He’d read it all then. An unpleasant tingle went through me. “I would’ve talked to you about this but you’ve always been so jealous of him.”
His voice went up a notch. “And with good reason, I see.”
“Hey! I’ve never done anything with him while I’ve been with you. Not even a kiss, so don’t even fucking go there.” So much for using our inside voices.
“But instead of talking to me about it, you put it on the internet. What the hell, Fen.” He got out of bed and stomped into the bathroom, not even flipping on the light as he pissed.
That was so unlike him, that I commented. “You’re going to make the toilet and floor wet, doing that in the dark.”
“I don’t give a fuck!”
When he returned, he didn’t get back into bed. He stood beside it, glaring; I could see his hard eyes and the set of his mouth in the moonlight.
We stared at each other for a long moment before I said, “I’m a writer. It’s what I do. I take what happens in our life, fictionalize it, and put it online.”
“So you’re going to keep doing that? Even though I’m telling you not to?”
“Telling? You’re telling me?” I started shaking my head. “No one tells me anything. You’re not my goddamn parent.”
“That’s right, but I am your partner. My opinion should matter, and I’m asking you to knock it off.”
“And I’m telling you I won’t. It’s what I do, damn it. No one reading knows who you are or ever will, if that’s what’s bugging the crap out of you.”
“What’s bothering me is all this stuff online that I never heard about, that you never discussed with me. It’s like you have this secret fucking life that only you and your readers get to know about. Oh, and let’s not forget AJ. He knows about it, too.” He grabbed his pillow. “I’m sleeping on the couch tonight.”
“Fine!” I yelled as he slammed the bedroom door behind him.
When I finally woke up this morning, he was gone.