JJ Returns

Suki and I were lying on the floor in front of the electric fireplace on a pile of blankets and pillows when JJ let himself in. His hair was more rumpled than usual, his eyes bloodshot, and his clothes wrinkled. 

“You look like shit,” I said.

“Good, because I feel like shit.”  

He disappeared into the bedroom and I heard the closet door open, then close, heard him go into the bathroom and the water turned on in the sink. A few minutes later, he returned, wrapped in his bathrobe, his hair newly brushed. The curls shone in the lamplight and I ached to run my hands through them.

“Better?” He opened his arms wide, inviting me to look.

I reached a hand up, and after a moment, he let me draw him down on the floor beside me. “I’m gonna say this now and get it out of the way, okay?”

His mouth tightened. “Okay.”

“I went over to AJ’s today. We talked.” His eyes hardened and he tried to pull away, but I wouldn’t let go of his hand. “Babe, listen to me. There’s an attraction between me and AJ. It’s always been there, but we’ve never acted on it and we’re not planning to do it now.”

“And how does he feel about that? The “not acting on” part?”

“He respects our relationship. He said clearly he has no plans to come between us.” I squeezed my fingers around his. “Trust him. Trust me. I love you. You’re here because I want you here, and because…I hope…you want to be here, too.”

“But you love him, too.” On JJ, a pout looked good. Made me want to kiss it away.

“Yup, I do. I always will. He’s my friend and has been for a long time.” I sat up to get closer to him. “Sweetie…I love you. I choose you.”

He looked at me then, and his eyes softened. The next moment, we were kissing. He’d brushed his teeth and I tasted mint, and under that, liquor.

“I’m tired, Fen. It was a long day.” He leaned against me, suddenly boneless.

I wrapped my arms around him, supporting him. “Bed then.”

I locked up, turned out the lights, and we went into the bedroom. JJ was naked under the robe; he tossed it into the chair and slid into bed, yawning.

I shucked my clothes quickly and joined him. We moved together without thought, seeking accustomed positions. Suki curled up at the foot of the bed.

“You can keep writing your blog,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I overreacted. I was pissed about AJ and…you know. I’ve read it. There’s nothing objectionable there.”

I melted against him. “Thanks. That means a lot to me.”

He yawned again, and I pulled the covers up over us, tucking them around his shoulder. “You mean so much to me, JJ. Don’t ever forget that.”

He moved his lips against my cheek as he inched closer. “Don’t leave me, Fen.”

I knew he meant my move to Minnesota, and as I couldn’t reassure him, I stayed silent. He knew it, too, knew that his request was unreasonable. His sigh blew across my ear, tickling me. 

In a few minutes, he was asleep. 


About Fenraven

Fenraven happily lives in south Florida, where it is really hot most of the year. Find him on Twitter, Google +, and Facebook by searching on 'fenraven'.
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4 Responses to JJ Returns

  1. W. Lotus says:

    Damnit, a reader stays out late at a concert one night and spends all of the next day out making photos, only to come home and find all hell broke loose while she was away from her computer. I expressly forbid all such shit-hitting-fan events from occurring while I am gone ever again, ok?

    Seriously, though, I’m glad he came back and you two have an understanding. *hugs*

  2. OMG! *relief*

    I was so worried about you two. So glad you talked about this. To me a relationship must be sustained by three columns: communication, trust and respect. If one of them is missing, things will not work properly. I’m glad they are present in your relationship. You have needed to talk about this subject for a long time. Good you finally did it. Now more than ever, you must talk about the things that are bothering you. Now that you’re not going to live together, good communication and trust are going to be essential to keep your relationship healthy.

    He’s feeling insecure and he’s afraid of losing you more than even. He needed reassurance of your love and you were able to give him that.

    Hope everything works out in the end. Good luck, babe.

    Love you and I’m here for you.


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